On losing time, missing chances, falling in love and why sometimes the only way forward is to run wild.
There is a deep cruelty to grief: it makes time visible.
Before loss, time is something we spend without looking at the receipt. We postpone dinners. We answer messages tomorrow. We assume there will be another summer, another conversation, another chance to say the thing we were too embarrassed, too busy, too afraid to say today.
Then someone dies and suddenly every minute acquires a price.
You begin to understand that time was never unlimited. You simply had the luxury of pretending it was.
Grief is often described as an ending. I have started to think of it differently. Grief is an interruption, a violent one, certainly but an interruption nonetheless. It stops the life you thought you were living and asks an uncomfortable question:
What are you going to do with the life that remains?